The great unwashed.
The rain has just started outside.
It hasnt rained for a couple of months here, not anything substantial. I love the rain, especially as it hits the tin roof outside, and the colours it makes everything look when they have been washed.
I haven't been blogging as much as I would normally. There hasn't been alot to say really. Feeling like crap and writing about it gets a little boring after a while.
I'm still not on any medication and I found myself having withdrals to them all. I have noticed my mood dip a little lately and when I find myself like this I have to remind myself what could be happening inside my body. It sucks really. But next week Im going to have to go back on some meds, which ones im not too sure of yet. I guess this medication holiday is kinda like having a break when you know you have to go back on them and how they could make you feel.
Weird.
Trev's been on holidays now for a week and I find myself a little lost without him here. My whole routine of working and doing things has changed so I've been sleeping in alot. He will be back on the weekend so next week should be back to normal, whatever that is.
We put ourselves in alot of boxes. Im finding that the gay community is one of the most phobic communities there is. For a community wanting acceptance they sure find it hard to accept their own. Im finding this alot with the positive and negative parts of the community. Reading peoples profiles on the chat rooms and seeing things like "disease free" or "be clean", like people who are poz are part of the great unwashed and instantly labelled "dirty" or "tainted", even ignorant.
This just wants me to withdraw more into my own circle.
Anyhow. Life goes on, and the rain is still falling.
Maybe it will help clean my soul.
This entry was posted by OLY, on
10.5.06.
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I think it's a case of "fear of the unknown". Prejudice against poz people is probably not too different from other forms of discrimination and education is the only cure. Take care of yourself, pheonixboi. Hope you feel better soon. :)
Leave your perfect soul alone! Cleansing is for colons. I've always thought that one pf the worst things about being gay is putting-up with all the crap from the "gay community." It's astounding how unsupportive/hostile the very people that should be caring and understanding should be...and sadly it only got worse when I became poz. BUT, enjoy the rain, since it sounds like it doesn't happen that often!
I'm sorry to hear that buddy :( Yes, you're right, our community is extremely phobic. We have more labels that straight people!
Take care and be well, dear.
Your soul does not need cleansing. What needs cleansing is the prejudice caused by fear and ignorance that you are talking about. Having been on both sides of the situation (Neg and Poz) it is easy to understand why people are so afraid and why they react the way they do. We seem to be getting less educated when it comes to HIV. Retreating to your own circle will not help the situation, just make you feel more allienated. Hang in there and enjoy the rain.
toobusyforliving and RJ have it right. Your soul shines! Don't fall for that bullshit and all the labels that people put on us. We may be Poz, but we don't have to deal with the negativity and prejudice that abounds. Ignorance still abounds, but if you pull away, that ignorance will win. Hugs and wishing you sunshine. :)
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