Finally

Today was the day that I have been waiting for for the past two weeks.

Last night I hardly slept. Thoughts were going round and round my head, and even though I knew what I wanted to happen today I really couldn't quieten my mind of the fears and anxiety I was feeling.

So without much sleep I headed up to the Drs my stomach churning.

First up I spoke with the social worker and told him how I have been feeling and of the thoughts that have invaded my mind over the past two weeks. He assured me that from now on I would see only the Professor and not the registrars and that any support I needed would be given to me.

This made me feel safe.

Then I went in and saw the Professor. He asked me how I had been feeling and I told him and then he told me that my viral load had gone from undetectable to 18 900 in just three weeks so it was time I went on something. (Like I had been telling them over the past couple of weeks.)

Anyhow he sat there and listened to me and what I wanted and without hesitation gave me a script for what I wanted, Fuzeon, Efaverenz and Tenofovir. He spoke to me a little about injecting and the need for compliance.

I walked out of his room feeling relieved and comforted to know he actually listened to me and was working with me.

The other drs were lurking around in the rooms and made a conscious effort not to come near me. It was quite amuzing to see but also made me think how gutless they are after all this time what I needed they wouldnt give and have let me go through this anguish for the best part of the month.

So I need to wait another week now. Yeah I know more waiting. The pharmacy didnt have the Fuzeon in stock and they need to give me education on the medication and its administration so Im going to have to wait until next Thursday until this round starts again.

At least I have it sorted now and things will hopefully be on the improve from here on in.

Tomorrow begins another journey for me.

But Ill talk more about that tomorrow.

We had some 40mms of rain yesterday. It was so beautiful watching it fall. All I could think when I was watching it was a line from the movie V for Vendetta when the woman in it said.."God is in the rain".

To say the least the garden loved it! Everything is standing up today and looking vibrant and healthy. Considering it has been the driest Autumn in 52 years it was such a blessing to have. I was watching the birds hiding in the trees and thinking most of them wouldnt know what the rain was.

It's weird what we think about and what we notice when we really look.

This entry was posted by OLY, on 31.5.06. You can leave your response.