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Biohazardous Existence

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A burst of Sunshine..


Today we got a taste of what summer is going to be like. It reached the early 30's here today, that means topped off with the public holiday it was beach weather. Although the water is still really cold at this time of the year that didn't stop people from having a first dip. I chickened out though I put my legs in and that was about it.

Also today was a time of reflection for me. I saw someone at the beach who at one point I really liked and because of what was going on with me being sick and still havinf feelings for my ex, I turned my back on what could have been in that relstionship. I dunoo if that was for the better, but anyhow Im here now and that is all that matters. Doesn't help stirring up the emotions though.

I also did something stupid yesterday and called my ex's number, but before he could respond I hung up. I left it at that. I just wanted to put a thought into his mind about me, whether it was a painful one or not I just wanted him for a second to think about me. Weird huh? Anyhow this afternoon I got a text message from him asking me if I had accidentally called him. So I sent a message back saying yeah maybe and sorry if I did, hope all is well take care. Then I got the response I was waiting for, with lots of venom and hatred still stored in this guy, amazed that I said sorry and that he cant wish the same for me. Sad, but anyhow it reinforced it all for me that the past is much better left in the past and some things will never change and to move on. I feel good where I am now. I feel more alive and more purposeful in what I am doing. All good.

I like the way the universe works and puts things out all in front of you to check over and see if you have got what it's trying to tell you or if you still need to ride the merry go round another time over.

I'm over riding the merry go round. Im going ahead this time, with whatever wonders await me Im taking them in with open arms.

This entry was posted by OLY, on 3.10.05. You can leave your response.

  1. Blogger Trey | 4:30 AM |  

    very wise. so often it seems we discover that the person we love and the actual person are two different entities--like a doppleganger or such. Often they are on their best behavior for most of the relationship, then they get tired and the real person spills out.

  2. Blogger OLY | 4:39 PM |  

    Hey Taarzaan.. with this one it was just i had my blinkers on. People who were on the outside looking in always told me i was blind, but i didnt see it until it literally smacked me in the face.

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