Fresh!

Today I'm feeling really good..so far.

I have found that my craving for sugar and salt have deminished and I am actually craving fresh foods like salads and fruit and water and juices. It's amazing how the body adapts and lets us know what it needs. I started having things like Dandelion tea, Wheatgrass juice, Quinoa in soups, nuts and seeds.

So anyhow Im feeling really good.. yeah I know Im repeating but to feel really good is an achievement which I am proud of seeing that it is September and it is the first Spetember in a really long time that I haven't felt ill. Let me back track a little.

It seems that ever since being diagnosed with HIV in September of 1992 I have subconsciously been in a depressive or ill state every September since then. Not only that but always something seems to change around that time to make my life a little unpleasant. Last year I was in Hospital and everything was falling apart for me, the pattern seems to have turned around, I am happy where I am living, who I am living with and with what I am doing with my life. I am actually starting my own Reiki Practise and doing what I have always wanted to be doing in my life. Things are actually working out!.. do I real with fear when I say that and think to myself dont speak to soon? Maybe just a tiny little, but this time I am putting it out there that I am ready and able to take on the challenge that is my life.

It aint all so bad after all!

So at the moment Im listening to Michael Franti and listening to the frogs croak in the ponds out the back beckoning the rain that is coming to clear the air and make everything fresh again.

It's the freshness that I am craving now, the colours and the sounds and the tastes that I have neglected while I explored my shadow and grieved the things I held onto so dearly as friendships and loves which weren't really friendships or loves, not true anyhow. So the fresh the new the aliveness that I am feeling is going to help drive me into the next phase when I turn 33 on the 18 December.

This entry was posted by OLY, on 27.9.05. You can leave your response.